i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
