4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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