oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
