Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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