So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
