I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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