she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
