not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize