we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize