Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
