Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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