Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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