You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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