trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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