sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
