I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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