im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize