it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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