Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I cut my penus on the lid.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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