we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
