I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
