Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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