2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
