I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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