I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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