She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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