Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
