Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize