New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
