found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
