no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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