My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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