The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
