once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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