She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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