I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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