we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
