I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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