is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
