if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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