All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
