So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
