I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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