just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
