If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
