She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
