she looked like the before picture.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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