That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm too high and old for this...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
