Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Drunk is not a location!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
its liver damage thursday
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
