the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
nutella sex= disaster
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
