I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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