i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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