She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
