i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
