There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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