i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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