We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
