apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Randomize