I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
