I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
a search helicopter?!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We need to get me chipped asap
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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