I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
