I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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